Merriam-Webster defines pride as, “the quality or state of being proud: as
a : inordinate self-esteem or conceit
b : a reasonable or justifiable self-respect
c : delight or elation arising from some act, possession, or relationship”

Proud? Or just beautiful?

As you can see, pride is one of those remarkable English words that can depict something at both ends of a spectrum. It’s both conceit and self-respect. It can be both inordinate and justifiable.

When the peacock displays its finery, is it out of a justifiable knowledge of its beauty, or strutting in conceit? For a peacock, probably neither.

But for us humans in a relationship, pride is almost always counter-productive.

Out of a sense of pride, we silently bear small wounds inflicted by those we love. It is pride that allows us to foster discontent instead of asking for help. It is pride that keeps us stuck in a place of resentment against those that we may love the most. We have thoughts such as:

“If she really loved me, she would know how I’m hurting.”
“If he cared enough, he would do the right thing.”
“I shouldn’t have to ask… she should know what I need.”
“When will he realize how much that hurts me?”

But these are the irrational thoughts of the wounded and proud ego. How can we expect our loved one to be a mind reader? How can we expect another, no matter how close, to really know how we feel about something?

We must speak our truth. We must honor our feelings by sharing them. We must put aside the hurt long enough to allow something wonderful to happen: Communication.

It is through listening, talking and understanding that relationships flourish. It is through our listening heart, our voice of integrity and our open mind that Love is conveyed and understood. To work it out, we must bring it up.

As we ask for understanding, we open our hearts to greater intimacy. As we ask for clarification, we have a better chance of understanding others and ourselves. As we put away our pride and say what’s on our mind—we open a path for our heart.

I suppose we can blame it on the candy hearts. You remember: those sugary hearts with the Valentine messages? They still sell them and we’re still filling our minds (and our children’s minds) with these little ideas of love:

NECCO "Sweetheart"

Be Mine. All Mine.
My Baby. Love Me.
Two Hearts. Melt My Heart.
Be My Hero.

…and so many more.

Trouble is, we might believe it. We might just think we need a hero. We might think that we can command love, own love, or worse yet, possess the object of our love.

For over 100 years the makers of “NECCO Sweethearts” have been producing these candies as a reflection of the ideas we share about romantic love. Is it any wonder that relationships are so messy?

I think it’s time for a new message about Love. I think we’re ready for a more honest approach and a viewpoint that is uplifting, but realistic.

At its most difficult, Love can be quite a roller-coaster ride, so maybe:
Go Easy. Be Tender. Softly, Gently.

Or maybe we should honor a more realistic and practical approach to love:
Getting Along. Harmony. Working At Love. Let’s Communicate.

Or maybe we should stick to the most fundamental nature of Love—the Unity of Love as the Spirit within:
I Am Love. Being Love. Me=Love. One Love.

These would be more appropriate messages of the kind of healthy love we want to have. We don’t want to “own” anyone—we want to collaborate and share our experiences. We don’t want to “command” love—we want to become more loving and be a better source of the love we’d like to have reflected back at us. We don’t want to look for love on the outside—in the form of a hero or a keeper. We want to experience love from the position of one whole human being loving another whole human being.

So let’s get to it.

No doubt the NECCO folks will come right along with new candies to reflect our new and improved ideas of Love.

Using a technique called gravitational microlensing, an international team of scientists now postulates that every star may have one or more planets. It appears that planet formation is simply part of the process of star formation. The 200,000,000,000+ stars in our own galaxy include billions of planets!

Our Milky Way Galaxy

When we look up at the night sky, it seems more clear than ever that we are not alone in this Universe. We’re probably not even alone in our arm of the Milky Way galaxy.

And what do you think is going on up there? Do you think a race of non-humans is, at this very moment, watching television and wondering if they bought the right brand of breakfast cereal?

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The Pacific Northwest is one of those funny places. We sell a lot of real estate in the summer—beautiful days with countryside as green as you can imagine. Even in the occasional heat of summer there’s a cool breeze off the water and a green canopy overhead.

The winters are relatively mild—a month or so of overcast, but only a few days of snow or deep cold.

Ready for a "Snow Day?"

But when it does snow, people sit up and take notice.

Perfectly ordinary people become excited and silly. As the first flake falls, schools close, busses go on snow routes and people make frantic trips to the store for provisions. Good drivers turn bad. Bad drivers simply abandon their cars. It’s like they’ve never seen snow before!

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Last night was the longest night of 2011. As the Earth tips its axis furthest from the sun (at least in the northern hemisphere), we experience the shortest day and the beginning of winter.

Winter Solstice at Stonehenge

Winter Solstice has long been associated with cycles of life and rebirth. In pre-historic times, people had to live from stored-up food during the winter months. They would become troubled as they saw the life-giving sun set earlier each evening. They looked for the solstice, the beginning of longer days, to mark the change of the seasons and the promise of another fruitful year.

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